Surviving Soberly

By Terri Rimmer He told me he really missed me and could I come see him for Christmas in one of the home towns I lived in, Smyrna, Georgia. My heart sank as I knew I had to work and it was our busiest season, though I still wanted to see him as I told him New Year’s Eve weekend might be a possibility. For the first time I didn’t have any travel anxiety as many times as I’ve traveled, which was nice. I had a dream before I left that I got off the plane and there he was, hugging me tight and not letting go. I didn’t have any nightmares like I usually do before I make my yearly birthday trip. I have had nightmares every night since I was three. This “he” I speak of is Terry, one of my former foster fathers, a lifetime Church of Christ member who I’ve kept in touch with since the 80s. My foster mom, Peggy passed away in 1983. Terry got remarried in 1988 to a woman named Ann, also a lifelong Church of Christ member. Terry graduated from high school in 1968, having

In 1993, five years after I got sober the first time, I was walking along the sidewalk and started hearing the sounds of people running up and down bleachers in a gym. I started crying hysterically. I was on medication and yet I thought, "I got sober for this?" That noise has plagued me ever since no matter how many times they switch my meds, increase it, or whatever, but to varying degrees and loudness. Now it just happens once in a blue moon and when it does come it is very faint. Please don't lose hope. I find that the only time it has ever come back in full force is when I have a huge psychiatric breakdown which is only triggered by a series of events which I know ahead of time that have to happen to cause it.