Surviving Soberly

I wake up this morning and I’m a completely different person than I was the last three days. Although I’m on five medications for bipolar disorder, depression, and anxiety, I’m exhausted, because I’ve just come off a rage roller coaster over the weekend. My hormones are out of whack and I can’t afford to go to the doctor so I just have to suffer through this. Last night someone I used to be friends with threatened to call the cops, accusing me of not taking my meds, claiming that I was harassing her when all I was doing was defending a mutual friend. I never met rage until I was 12 when the bottom fell out of my life and I had to go live with my mom and step dad after my dad finally had to answer for abusing my sisters and I. I was getting physically abused at Mom’s house then and bullied at school. The bullying actually started way before that. The only refuge was my mind – not a good place. I can remember once I started driving often times ...

Nov. 4, 2017 Dear McKenna: How is it possible that it’s time for your annual Thanksgiving letter again? What a year it has been! You continue to amaze me all the time and as every year passes I am in wonder of all that you are and do. Seeing you grow up as been the best gift and something I never thought I would get to have. You have such a dedication to the band and I don’t know how you do it all but I admire your persistence and how you push yourself. You have never let anything stop you in your life, no matter the obstacle and that is one of the many things I love about you. I also love seeing you dance, your sense of humor, smile, spirit, creativity, intuition, and courage. It’s hard for me not to tear up as I write this because the pride is strong when I think of you. I’m glad you know what you want to do in life as I did. In Nov. 1983 when I was 17, also your age, I can remember banging out stories and poems on the fire engine red elec...